


Flux And Flow

by Snake (Fatality145)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M, PWP, Smut, hahaaaa bottom virgin shepard.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-27
Updated: 2012-09-27
Packaged: 2017-11-15 04:12:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fatality145/pseuds/Snake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'There were only a few things that made <i>the</i> Commander Shepard flinch; a bullet straying too close, burning the air, a dead familiar whispering to him in his head. Only a few things, and the ice-cold glass of the fish tank against his back, meshed with the too-warm mouth at his throat, was one of them.'</p><p> </p><p>  <i>--[Bottom!Virgin Shepard]</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Flux And Flow

**Author's Note:**

> hell yeah awkward sex gotta' love it and WOW im so tired after like. 2 non-stop days of mists of pandaria (spoiler im level 90 already heuehu) and so. excuse the shitness sob im gonna sleep this off now it's 8am hides away under the covers.

There were only a few things that made _the_ Commander Shepard flinch; a bullet straying too close, burning the air, a dead familiar whispering to him in his head. Only a few things, and the ice-cold glass of the fish tank against his back, meshed with the too-warm mouth at his throat, was one of them.

 

                The datapad had clattered from his hand as he was pulled back from his seat, the thing meeting with the floor, the screen distorting for a moment before turning off. A split-second of aggression went through his head, instinct against something at his blind spot, but it was quickly evaporated as clever fingers found their way up the hem of his jacket and the shirt beneath, as heat pressed flush against him.

 

                “Almost didn’t hear you come in… Major,” His voice instantly became short, even almost breaking at the end once a knee nudged up between his legs, rutting against his groin through the terse denim. He hadn’t, really, but he wasn’t about to say that.

 

                “I guess I’ll have to try harder, next time, _Commander_ ,” Kaidan replied, the small smile against the hollow of his throat completely tangible to him.

 

                That was part of the reason to for the shiver, the slight flinch from the glass as the material between it and his bare skin was lifted up, that voice, the words murmured into him, gravelly and deep, instantly raising gooseflesh along the curve of his spine.

 

                “…Finished your reports, I’m guessing…?” Shepard asked, the back of his skull forced up against the fish tank, pushed back by the nosing to his jaw, moving up the tendons of his neck.

 

                “Uhuh,” Kaidan had more on his mind than simply talking, and he could feel what exactly was, pressing against the top of his thigh.

 

                “Well… You know, I haven’t finished _mine_ …” His arms were still, hands gripping around the bannister, before he forced himself to move them around the other’s shoulders. Usually, or always, he wouldn’t be even minutely denying something like that, but it was just, oddly enough, in the privacy and protection of his cabin, that the position was exposing, on a weird degree.

 

                Since having stumbled into their haphazard, though undeniably required, relationship, he had been the one to do the pinning-against-surfaces, with his jaws at Kaidan’s throat, his hand down Kaidan’s fatigues, and his hips between Kaidan’s thighs, pushing against the curve of his flank, Kaidan smelling like him in the morning, not the other way around.

 

                “…Yeah, you have. You’re just looking over them for the millionth time because that’s… that’s something you’d do, Shepard.”

 

                Kaidan had him there. It was safe to say, actually, that Shepard hadn’t been in a situation like what was in front of him, before. Having control meant having a small comfort that he usually lacked in all other aspects of his life, something that, he found, was what he sometimes desperately needed, and that was why, when he was forcibly turned around, his chest to the glass, Kaidan’s chest to his back, he actually locked up, voice and breath caught in his lungs.

 

                His fingers curled in against cool pane, one of the fish swimming leisurely by his face as he felt the mouth at his nape stop its movement, the warm hands pressed to his belly stilling, as with the hips pressed against his ass. It wasn’t the reaction he wanted to get, or give, but it was what he got. Kaidan wasn’t dumb, not by a long shot; of course he’d notice something like that.

 

                “I, uh…” A pause, “…Everything… all good, Shepard?” Kaidan asked, softly, the words muffled against the material of his scruffed up hoodie. Only someone like Kaidan would stop in the heat of something like that and ask him if he was _okay_.

 

                For a person who faced hordes of mutilated armies every day, and demons even worse in calibre, the situation shouldn’t have felt as it was – a little daunting, a little too intrapersonal. Shepard swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, bucking up, steeling himself and tipping his head down slightly, forehead bumping against the glass.

 

                “ _Yeah_.” He tried to make a lopsided smile twist his lips, only getting halfway there, “All good.” He repeated, watching Kaidan’s brow furrow from his limited view – another thing to make him uncomfortable, not having full perspective, having his six snuffed out.

 

                Kaidan made to move away, his hands beginning to remove themselves before Shepard reached back, taking a hold of his thigh, keeping him there.

 

                “…What’s up?” The Major asked, just as carefully, relenting and doing as instructed, flush against his hindside.

 

                Shepard’s lips pursed, the blue light reflecting off his skin, the faint flush that had begun crawling up his neck and over the bridge of his nose. He looked back into the rippling water, narrowing his eyes at the fish that he was pretty damn sure were scrutinizing him. “Just… New to this, you could say.”

 

                _Another_ pause. They were starting to make his nerves itch more than they annoyingly already were.

 

                “Ah.” Was all Kaidan said, the realization coming to his face. He must have noticed the slowly thickening silence, broken only by the wavers of the mass effect fields around the Normandy and the low hum of the fish tank VI, was beginning to grate on him, more soothingly and less urgently smoothing his palm over Shepard’s belly. “We, uh… We don’t have to, you know. If you don’t want to, I mean.”

 

                Taking a terse breath in, Shepard shut his eyes for a moment before looking back at him again, squeezing the outside of his thigh. It wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ it, he kind of did, on all accounts; it was just, as he said, something new, and, while he’d been taught to adapt to any kind of situation, this wasn’t the battlefield.

 

                “Could die tomorrow, Major. We might as well,” An actual smile came to his lips, then, as Kaidan rolled his eyes light-heartedly at his dry joke, scathing his nails over his stomach, making the hard muscles jolt back in reaction, making Shepard’s next breath out a little shaky.

 

                “I guess we should… take it slow, then, huh?” Kaidan said, mouthing at the base of his throat again, the other feeling the tension ebb out from the set flesh, gradually.

 

                “Lead on,” Shepard replied, voice airy, finally making his other hand release its vice grip on the bannister, his knuckles having turned white.

 

                Maybe it _would_ be nice to be lead, for once, if he could get the trepidation that had settled in his gut out, forcibly making his legs move again as he was nudged over to the bed.

 

                “Okay, you should… be on your stomach, maybe. It’d hurt less, first off.” Kaidan told him, running a hand down his ribs and only barely touching over his flank before pulling his hand away, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

                “What? No kissing or heavy petting, beforehand?” Shepard looked over his shoulder, turning and sitting on the edge of the bed, looking up at him, doing that thing with his eyebrows as he began to undo his combat boots, dumb smile on his mouth. Though maybe not so obvious to Kaidan, but probably, knowing him, Shepard was trying to lighten the mood, if only for himself, toeing off his boots.

 

                Kaidan gave one of those breathy, half-laughs, the subtly scarred side of his lips curving, glancing aside before looking back at him again. He closed in and Shepard shifted back towards the middle of the bed, the covers creasing beneath both of their weight, mouths slanting together. That was something Shepard _knew_ he could do. He was good at kissing, at least kissing Kaidan, anyway.

 

                That knee was between his legs, again, those hands hitching up his shirt and jacket, those goosebumps coming back with a vengeance. His skin crawled, but it was in the good way, the kind that made his muscles slowly relax and made blood travel south through his veins, Kaidan’s chest, wider and warmer than his own, pressed against him.

 

                He pushed himself up on an elbow, sitting up to let him take off the clothes on his upper half, leaving him bare for Kaidan’s hands and mouth, calloused fingers streaming down from the hollows of his collarbones and over the troughs of his ribs to the defined V-slant of his hips, following it to his groin and replacing his knee with his grasp.

 

                Shepard’s inhale was sharp, whistling down his drying throat, his hips twitching up into the firm fingers that grabbed his hardening length through the material of his jeans, an arm hooked around Kaidan’s shoulder to keep him close as he took a fistful of his shirt, tugging it up from his back.

 

                Obliging, Kaidan leant back, taking his clothes away, tossing it aside with the rest of the stuff, their intermingled breath hot. Shepard’s azure eyes met with his hazel ones for a tense moment, that flush over the bridge of his nose having thickened, pulling him down again, skin against skin, pulse against pulse.

 

                As soon as the confine of the jeans was beginning to get uncomfortable, Kaidan was undoing his belt, popping the buttons and sliding down the zip, delving his hand in. He was good like that, receptive – Shepard rarely ever had to ask, Kaidan just knew. Those long fingers closed around his cock, taking him out, worming a low moan from him, against the other’s mouth, as they stroked, from base to tip, thumb running over the slit.

 

                Working him up, Kaidan moved to his throat, heatedly mouthing over the pounding, thin skin, feeling the reverberations of sounds beneath his lips, biting and leaving scant, red marks, akin to the ones Shepard was leaving over his shoulder blades with his nails.

 

                The seams of Shepard’s jeans rolled down his thighs as they were shucked down, kicking them off himself when the waist got to his knees. The fingers left his length, travelling lower, and he had to make himself part his legs to accommodate, his parted lips poised just beneath Kaidan’s, tasting his breath and taking it.

 

                He must have tensed tangibly as the fingers past over his entrance, because Kaidan stopped, touching over his inner thigh instead, thumb running along the svelte crease that ran up to his groin. Always cautious, with that gentle demeanour that he could only find in the down-time.

 

                “You… You have, uh… ‘Stuff’, right?” Kaidan asked him, pressing the pads of his fingers into the toned muscle.

 

                In his state, Shepard couldn’t fit two things together in his head before he spoke: “’Stuff’?” He repeated.

 

                “Yeah… ‘Stuff’. You know… Lube…? That stuff.”

 

                “Oh. Yeah. Just in the top drawer.” Shepard eventually mumbled, blinking.

 

                Kaidan smiled softly before kissing him all too fleetingly and leaning over him, sliding out the drawer and feeling about inside. Laying back, Shepard brought one hand back, rubbing over an eye, a nervous response, as the other pulled out the clear tube and something else – a box. Shepard made a face, his mouth twisting, eyebrows doing that thing again. He’d actually forgotten that he had rubbers, but Kaidan was thorough.

 

                Bringing them over and closing the drawer again, Kaidan sat back on his bent calves, breathing a little out of rhythm, Shepard could tell, making to open the lube before his eyes got caught on him.

 

                Shepard looked back, taking his hand from his face and propping a heel up on the bed, huffing a coarse laugh. “What?”

 

                “Ah… Nothing. It’s just… Better watch yourself, Shepard… I could get used to this.” Kaidan said, smiling a little wider. Shepard knew that look; it was the same as the one he got when he grazed over the Major when he was beneath him, spread out, naked, bare.

 

                Snorting lightly, Shepard shifted, tipping his head back against the Alliance-grade and emblazoned pillows, hearing the cap of the lube being taken off. First, he felt the cold, velvet liquid against him, then the warm breath against his temple, the two extremes making him shudder hard and lock up again.

 

                “…Haven’t you done this, before?” Kaidan murmured, lips brushing the edge of his buzzcut, to the scar running up from his forehead.

 

                “Once or twice, maybe,” Shepard admitted, sucking in a breath and more slowly letting it out, bringing himself to lax, swallowing again, turning his head, having the tip of his nose meet the crux of the other’s jaw. He’d either gotten sick of it, hadn’t gotten it right for himself, or it just didn’t feel good, so he usually opted against it. Maybe it’d be different if someone else did it.

 

                “Okay, well… We’ll go slow. No rush.” Kaidan nudged him back, lightly mouthing his lips as he felt a coated finger press into him, deliberately. He didn’t wince; it wasn’t that bad, the faint stretch, more uncomfortable than painful.

 

                “…Good?”

 

                Shepard exhaled through his nose, “Yeah.”

 

                Kaidan let the digit linger for a moment longer before pulling it out, the corner of Shepard’s mouth twitching as he felt another press beside it, jaws gritting softly as they were pushed back in. It was a little more than it was previous, but he could deal, despite that kind of pain being more personal than a bullet managing to get past his armour and lodge in the flesh, which meant it was different, something he hadn’t been tempered against.

 

                It became a rhythm, Kaidan kissing him again as he worked him with the fingers, distracting by him palming over his chest and touching the sweet spots of his neglected length, moving to three fingers to stretch him out proper. At one point, Shepard jolted, a sudden, electric pang sparking back to his spine and to his cock.

 

                He could feel Kaidan’s breath become choppier, panted over his lips, watching him shift with eyes half-lidded. That was something else he could relate to, the painstaking process beforehand inevitably trying patience. Kaidan had more of it than he did, that was obvious, but he still pushed him back a little, pressing their foreheads together, getting his attention.

 

                “Come on,”

 

                “…You sure? I mean, I—“ Kaidan started, before he was interrupted.

 

                “Yeah, I’m sure.” Shepard glanced aside, then back at him. “As ready as I’m ever gonna’ be, Major.”

 

                Kaidan’s laugh was breathy, quiet, strained, even, taking his fingers out. Shepard swiped his tongue over his lower lip, the feeling south alien – not uncomfortable, and not painful, just weird.

 

                “You… Gonna’ turn over, or…?” Reaching over and grabbing the rest of the tube and the box, Kaidan looked at him expectantly, it taking a few seconds, again, for Shepard to get the idea, doing so, turning onto his belly.

 

                He heard more questionable sounds, and then tensed momentarily as more of the smooth fluid was slicked over him. Shepard had thought about that in his head, definitely, more than once, but he’d never managed to bring it up, and he was hoping his imagination was up to par, that it could have prepared him for it.

 

                Knees set themselves by either side of his hips, feeling heavy, coated flesh lay against the crease of his ass, steeling himself and pressing a knee into sheets, lifting his lower half up a little. He always liked it when Kaidan did that for him, and apparently the Major did too, hearing him groan quietly, hands grabbing at his waist, pulling him up a margin higher.

 

                “Ready?” Kaidan asked him, one hand taken away from his hips.

 

                Crossing his arms beneath his head, Shepard shot a glance back at him, before looking back at the skin of his forearm, the smattering of scars, nodding his head. Kaidan shifted above him, his brow twitching into a furrow as he felt the blunt pressure of the head of his length against him. He took a breath in, holding it, and biting back a hiss as the pain came.

 

                Shepard instead sunk his teeth into his arm, eyes squeezing shut. Definitely a pain he hadn’t been conditioned for, something new altogether, his body locking up, trying to reject it.

 

                “… _Jesus_ , Shepard…” Kaidan forced out, grittily, “ _Relax_ ,”

 

                He just growled involuntarily in response, coughing out his breath, a shudder rolling down his back. He must have been close to breaking the skin beneath his teeth, the muscles in his shoulders tensed, tendons in his throat sticking out slightly. Inhaling again, trying to level it out, he made his body relax one portion at a time, the parts twitching.

 

                Shepard deftly exhaled, the pain eventually subsiding to a low burn in his lower half, Kaidan pressing in as much as he could with the position. The lines etched into his forehead and the corners of his eyes indented his skin, cracking an eye open and peering back at the Major. He had his head ducked, usually kempt hair dishevelled, mouth parted, panting.

 

                “God… You’re tight…” He managed, his hands holding Shepard’s hips to his own. Shepard muttered under his breath, a single, minute movement making more jags roil through him. It wasn’t exactly as he imaged it was going to be.

 

                “… I’m… I’m gonna’ move, alright…?”

 

                Maybe it’d get better, Shepard thought - hoped, rather – nodding again, taking his teeth out of his arm so he could breathe, deep inhales, slow exhales. He grit his jaws again as Kaidan pulled out. It was like pins and needles all throughout his groin, and he almost jerked away once he pushed back in.

 

                He grunted as Kaidan moaned above him, falling into another rhythm, pressing his forehead against his arm, eyes closed again. Shifting, oh-so carefully, too, Shepard reached a hand beneath himself, taking a hold of his softening dick, jerking himself with a shaky grip. That was something, at least. He kind of (really) hoped what he gave Kaidan was better than what he was getting, no offence to the guy, but if he hadn’t already gone through the long haul he might have kicked the Major off of him already.

 

                “Fuck, _Shepard_ …!” Kaidan choked out, making a sound Shepard knew well, feeling him shake around him, the grip on his hips tightening, nails sinking in. A mouth met with his shoulder, panting hotly against him, slowly levelling down. Shepard was kind of out of it, trying to focus not on the pain and on other things, flinching as Kaidan abruptly pulled out of him, the feeling gone, leaving him a little empty.

 

                He huffed out a breath, looking back at the other, cocking a brow, hand stilling on his cock.

 

                “I-… Sorry…” Kaidan said, a drop of sweat seeping down his temple, his expression pinched, “You, uh… You just… Here,” He reached down, carefully turning Shepard over again and onto his back, Shepard hissing through his teeth.

 

                The Major worked down his body, kissing over his belly, then his hips, the nail marks left in them, and then to Shepard’s cock. He took no expense, laving his tongue up the side of the flesh, slicking it, hand spreading the saliva and taking him into his mouth.

 

                Immediately, Shepard bucked, taking a fist of Kaidan’s hair. That was what he could get behind. He knew Kaidan was good at that, obscenely so, even, and, after the wait, it just felt that much better. Through half-hooded eyes, he watched Kaidan suck him off, feeling the back of his throat convulse around his prick as he took it to the base, coughing and gasping lightly as he pulled back, the flat of his tongue rubbing against the underside of the head.

 

                It was a gorgeous sight, Shepard would always think, the muscles in his gut clenching up, moaning, neck stretched out, as he came, Kaidan swallowing him down. That skilful tongue cleaned him up, licking over the tip again before the other leant back, quickly fixing himself up.

 

                Shepard crossed his arms over his face as the coital hormones flooded through him, momentarily covering the ache, wanting to roll onto his side but opting against it lest the settled pain spark up again. He supposed it _could_ have gone worse, he didn’t know how, but he was sure it could have.

 

                Warmth came up beside him, an upper arm brushing against his sweat-sheened ribs. It was quiet, for a while, the heat in the air filtering out with the conditioner, until Kaidan cleared his throat.

 

                “I… I guess I’ll just have to learn you better,” He mumbled, turning onto his side, kissing over the underside of Shepard’s arm.

 

                “Let’s see how I feel in the morning. If I can even _walk_ ,” Shepard returned, dropping one of his arms to look back at the other, his whole body feeling the coming fatigue.

 

                Kaidan softly laughed, pulling his other arm back so he could mouth at the corner of his lips, resting his forehead against his temple, a hand curling against his ribs, gently tugging him over. Shepard sighed, staying inert for a moment before giving in, slowly turning over to face him, trying to ignore the dull burn that was beginning to make its way all throughout his form, pressing chest to chest with the other.

 

                “C’mon… Give me a chance. I just… I want you to feel as good as you make me feel, you know…?” He whispered, kissing the tip of his nose, smiling at how Shepard scrunched it up a little. Kaidan was so unfair, pressing their foreheads together, looking at him with those big eyes. Shepard swore he did that on purpose.

 

                “…Fine.” Shepard relented, “But, not for at least… a week. At least. Probably more.”

 

\--

 

By the first step Shepard took out of bed, that morning cycle, he knew it was definitely going to be a tender, careful, and hard day. An experience, to say the least. 


End file.
